2011

I know there is still two months left in the year, and I should probably wait before I write the wow, that year sucked... here's to the next year post, but I figure why procrastinate. It's true, this year sucks and I still have to endure two more months of it. I promised myself that I wouldn't end up being a self righteous emo blogger who hates the world and can't wait to get to place where people really understand me, but honestly... how can I be positive right now. In the last 10 months, I've left a career that I thought I loved, which means I lost people in my life that at one time I truly respected and I said good bye to a family member who should have been there for more ups and downs in my life. No... they didn't die, but sometimes you have to say good bye to people so that you can move on with your life.

So now, with two months left to go... I've gone back in time almost and find myself managing a retail store and I have no career path for myself except for a daily mantra of "don't fuck this up" and tonight, I finally had an insightful conversation with a dear gf and realized that I'm not being too hard on myself. I had a horrible year and now I've either set myself up to be emo princess of 2012, or I'm going to reinvent myself and end up being a completely new woman.

There is a lot I can't answer right now, and I know I am basically just rambling. Side note: I blame the rambling on the sausage I cooked myself earlier.. did you know that you can't just cut off a moldy part and continue on with life? This could end up being a disasterous shitty night for myself haha.

When I started this blog, I thought to myself, here is a place where I can write down all the things that other people do that make me question humanity... but now looking back I can't help but question myself and the decisions I have made. I don't regret the last year of my life, but I do wish I could have made decisions that were educated and informed and adult and not so much the free spirit that I've always been in rebellion to real life....

Neglect...

I am the definition of a bad blog owner. I can't keep motivated to write, but yet I crave the attention of owning one, and like to think I'll end up being someone who has thousands of followers and people will want to talk to me about how I get my inspiration. Hopefully they won't notice that obnoxiously long sentence I just wrote. Life has drastically changed in the last few months, and while I won't go into great detail, I will say this... Life is what you make of it, and I have been blessed.

Here is a quick summary of my life...

1) I completely changed careers
2) I found a new place to call home
3) I found out that people aren't really who they say they are. I've been warned about this, but really got to experience this first hand.
4) I redefined what my family circle looks like... and I have no regrets.

I don't want this to be a deep post, but when people look back and see the gap of time that I didn't blog, I want them to remember that behind all the humour and confidence is a girl who ends up having human moments.

xoxo...

What's Next...?

What's next? It's a question that plagues us all. It stalks us everywhere we go. People ask this question when someone finishes school, quits their job, moves into a new house, or even a new city. I feel like the only person who doesn't ask this question enough is the person going through the changes in their life. I think we all make decisions with plans of the outcome, or even just going by our gut feeling. I don't believe most of us really sit down and ask what's next?

I finished school under the impression that I would end up a public relations powerhouse. I would have this mid-twenties amazing lifestyle and travel the world. The "what's next" I never thought of? How would I pay my student loan? How come I wasn't entitled to receive this amazing salary that I had previously envisioned? All that aside, its still not those questions that plague my life.

My "what's next" is deciding what path I want to be on. Where will I call home or am I done furthering my education? People look at the schooling I do have and assume I'm a bit of an overachiever for not feeling accomplished enough, or successful enough. I get asked a lot if I think this degree, or that degree. Do I need to get my masters? If they aren't asking me questions about my school plans. I am filled with why do I want to move questions, or why would I consider moving to whatever place I may have mentioned in conversation.

We spend a lot of time worrying about other people and what they will do next. I suppose its human nature to be curious about others. If it wasn't, then we wouldn't have tabloid magazines, books, television shows or so called "reality TV". I don't understand all the questions to life, certainly I don't have the answers to my own life, but I do understand that I have to decide "what's next?"

Remember when...

You've seen all those emails, the nostalgic ones that take you back to a specific decade... You were born in the 80s if... etc. Yes they are humorous, they even give you the need to automatically hit forward and send it off to whomever it is that you think will laugh as hard as you did.

I've always wondered how email chains get started. Is it some lonely human being sitting in their basement one night compiling information into a document? Do they disguise it as an email they may have already received, so that no one realizes they birthed the spam being read?

How's this for a remember when... remember when people TOLD jokes or stories? You picked up the phone to tell your bff, mom or bf, the funny thing you saw or heard today? Now, it's all about emails and text messages. I guess this post is like the pot calling the kettle black, I could have picked up the phone and told someone this thought, but I chose to write a blog. So here is my question for the day, are you ready to TELL someone a story? Or, are you content with the loss of human touch we all seem so satisfied with?

The Art of Celebrity

It used to be that if you wanted to be rich and famous, you worked for it. I mean, you genuinely worked for it. Actors and actresses worked pitiful jobs while they slaved endlessly trying to get their big break. Powerful CEOs started by working as the office temp and even if you came from money, that money was earned.

Now the word celebrity is defined as: I drank a lot on TV, threw up, had sex and for some reason EVERYONE is obsessed with me. Don't get me wrong, I am a victim of reality TV. The trashier the better. I've been known to watch endless hours of Jersey Shore, the Real World and countless others that I will not name. What I'm getting at is... how come it's so easy to become rich and famous? Is it the vast realm of social media that has popped up? Is it that humanity has ceased to demand that people work for acknowledgement?

I've also wondered if being a celebrity really is this easy? I've thought, hey.... I know some people with some pretty awesome cameras. What if I walked into West Edmonton Mall one day, surrounded by an adoring entourage and had my "paparazzi" scream my name and demand my photograph with every step I took?

How long do you think it would take for my "celebrity" to be born?